Introduction 1 (Circumcision: The Painful Dilemma)
From Peaceful Beginnings
Contents |
WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID ABOUT CIRCUMCISION: THE PAINFUL DILEMMA
As seen on David Brinkley’s NBC Magazine
Circumcision: The Painful Dilemma will stand as a moving social document of our times. It will serve as a beacon light to all who seek truth and understanding, and greatly broaden our appreciation of what it means to be human. Your book, with its wonderful sense of balance, provides the total spectrum of information that any lay or professional reader would need in order to form a rational opinion on the subject of circumcision. Your emphasis on the unique individuality of every newborn child with certain rights no less genuine than those of any adult, deserves the highest commendation. In spite of the element of tragedy indicated by the suffering and complications of an unnecessary surgical procedure on newborns, the book comes through in a warm and positive way, and one is left with a sense of enlightenment as well as commitment that our future newborn sons may establish themselves in this world intact, and “at peace.”
T.D. Swafford, M.D.
Group Health Medical Center, Seattle, WA
Rosemary Romberg has given us the definitive book on circumcision … American physicians should study the book carefully, especially the authoritative chapter on “Complications of Circumcision.” I enthusiastically join Rosemary Romberg in her well-documented, comprehensive condemnation of modern hospital circumcision.
Robert S. Mendelsohn, M.D.
Evanston, I L.
Fascinating lore — both of history and the religions! A veritable encyclopædia! … the mothers’ letters on routine neonatal circumcision are priceless!
It has material I shall want to quote when I raise issues of why today it is so important for us to examine our routine practices and our cultural attitudes to see if they still work for us and fit the needs of individuals today striving to live consciously and at the highest possible level of harmony with each other and this small planet of ours. Men and women will thank you for giving the tools and knowledge with which to make conscious decisions about what are issues of real import to our hearts and psyches.
Suzanne Arms
Author of
- A Season to be Born, Harper Colophon Books (ISBN 0060903236), NY, (©) 1973;
- Immaculate Deception: A New Look at Women and Childbirth (ISBN 0553022571), (©) 1975, Houghton Mifflin Co., 1977, Bantam Books, NY.
- Five Women, Five Births (video), Suzanne Arms Productions, Palo Alto, CA.
- Adoption: A Handful of Hope (ISBN 0890875510), (©) 1990, Celestial Arts, Berkeley, CA.
- Bestfeeding: Getting Breastfeeding Right for You: An Illustrated Guide (ISBN 0890875715), (©) 1990, Celestial Arts, Berkeley, CA (co-authors Mary Renfrow & Chloe Fisher)
- Seasons of Change: Growing Through Pregnancy & Birth (ISBN 1882308581), (©) 1994, Kivaki Press, Durango, CO. (now NC.)
- Immaculate Deception II: Myth, Magic & Birth (ISBN 0890876339), (©) 1994, 1996, Celestial Arts, Berkeley, CA.
- Giving Birth: Challenges & Choices (video), (©) 1998, Roots Inc., Durango, CO.
Thank you very much for the opportunity to review the manuscript for your book on circumcision. I was very impressed by the extensive research which you have conducted and your attention to detail. A most important aspect of the manuscript which is not covered by other authors is the letters from parents describing in personal terms their experiences with circumcision and non-circumcision.
William W. Pope, M.D., M.P.H., Deputy State Health Officer,
Garrett County Health Department,
Oakland, MD
I am excited by your manuscript. I feel it’s an extremely important piece of work … Your manuscript is forcing me to re-examine some of my thinking. Thank you for the challenge.
John C. Glaspey, M.D. Clinical Director of Nurseries,
Milwaukee County Medical Complex Perinatal Center
Medical College of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, WI
Rosemary Romberg has not missed a dimension in her approach to circumcision, or more accurately, her denunciation of it … This book will educate prospective parents enormously, and this is where purely textbook treatises have fallen short.
Richard J. Eliason, M.D. General and Pediatric Urology
Salt Lake City, UT
Circumcision: The Painful Dilemma looks to be the classic on circumcision. One day 20th Century archivists will choose your book to give the most comprehensive history on an ancient and almost forgotten barbaric ritual. May it rest in peace. Your book is a tremendous contribution towards that end (of circumcision).
Jeannine Parvati Baker
Author of
- Prenatal Yoga and Natural Birth (ISBN 1556433824), (©) 2001-11-01, Freestone Publishing Company
- Hygieia; A Woman’s Herbal (ISBN 0913512540), (©) 1979-06-01, Freestone Publishing Company
- Conscious Conception: Elemental Journey Through the Labyrinth of Sexuality (ISBN 0938190830), (©) 1986, Freestone Publishing Co., Sevier, Utah, and North Atlantic Books, Berkeley, CA.
CIRCUMCISION
The Painful Dilemma
Rosemary Romberg
Bergin & Garvey Publishers, Inc. Massachusetts
Library of Congress Cataloguing in Publication Data Romberg, Rosemary. Circumcision: The Painful Dilemma. Bibliography: p. 405 Includes index.
Circumcision 1. Psychological aspects. 2. Circumcision — Social aspects. I. Title. [DNLM: 1. Circumcision. 2. Circumcision — adverse effects. WJ 790 R762c]
RD590.R66 1985 392 84-24188
ISBN 0-89789-074-4 (pbk.)
First published in 1985 by Bergin & Garvey Publishers, Inc., South Hadley, Massachusetts
56789 987654321
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
- Foreword I. by Thomas J. Ritter, M.D
- Foreword 11. by Jeffrey R. Wood
- Introduction: The Author’s Own Story
- Chapter One: The History of Circumcision
- Chapter Two: Female Circumcision
- Chapter Three: Circumcision and Judaism
- Interview with Rabbi F.S. Gartner
- Interview with Elizabeth & Marsh Pickard-Ginsberg
- A Letter from a Jewish Mother
- Chapter Four: Circumcision and Christianity
- Chapter Five: Routine Infant Circumcision as a Medical Practice in 20th Century United States …
- Interview with Howard Marchbanks, M.D
- Interview with Paula Coleman, O.B. Nurse
- Interview with Nancy & Frank Ring (young parents)
- Letters from Parents of Circumcised Sons
- Picture Display of Methods of Circumcision
- Chapter Six: Circumcision and Sexuality
- Chapter Seven: Circumcision and The Military Service
- Chapter Eight: The Circumcision of a Three Year Old
- Chapter Nine: The Circumcision of an Adult
- Chapter Ten: Foreskin Restoration
- Chapter Eleven: Complications of Circumcision
- Chapter Twelve: The Question of Penile Cancer
- Chapter Thirteen: The Question of Venereal Disease
- Chapter Fourteen: The Question of Prostate Cancer
- Chapter Fifteen: The Question of Cervical Cancer
- Chapter Sixteen: Is Circumcision Traumatic for a Newborn Baby?
- Interview with the Primal Institute
- Shawn’s Circumcision
- One Man’s Story
- Interview with Justin Call, M.D., Child Psychiatrist
- Interview with Tonya Brooks
- Chapter Seventeen: The Intact Penis
- Interview with Diane Cook
- Letters from Parents of Intact Sons
- Chapter Eighteen: Humane Alternatives in Infant Circumcision?
- Glossary
- Resources
- Bibliography
- Index
I wish to express gratitude to the following people:
To the wonderful people who publish Mothering Magazine. Shortly after I began this research I wrote a letter which appeared in the Winter 1978 issue of their magazine. In that letter I requested that people write to me about their experiences concerning circumcision. An incredible amount of communication filled with valuable information and encouragement reached me as a result of that letter.
To Constance Bean for writing the chapter “The Circ Room” in her book Labor and Delivery, An Observer’s Guide (ISBN 0385112491). This chapter upset me terribly, but contributed to my decision to write this book.
To Dr. Frederick Leboyer, for awakening people to the fact that newborn babies are sensitive, feeling individuals. Why were we unable to realize this before Birth Without Violence (ISBN 0892819839) opened our eyes?
To the late George Soule who helped me immensely with my research and gave me continued moral support. We all miss you so much since you left us in 1990.
To Jeffrey R. Wood, for giving me encouragement and moral support, and for founding INTACT Educational Foundation.
To Dave Beauvais for his help in preparing the original manuscript for publication.
To Jeannine Parvati Baker who has been an inspiration to me.
To the many other people, too numerous to list, who have shared their knowledge, experiences, feelings, and concern that in so many ways have contributed to this book.
To my husband Steve, and my three sons Eric, Jason, and Ryan, all of who have been “victims of the system,” but are beautiful people nonetheless. Without them this book never would have been written.
To my daughter Lisa, who was conceived, carried, and born while this project was underway. May you grow up to live in a happier, saner world.
(Update:) Thanks also to Marilyn Milos, RN, and Richard Angell for your continued “carrying of the torch” and for urging me to update this book and make it available on disc format, and to Duane Voskuil for all of your help with the computer scanning.
To John Erickson, whose clear, concise writings and “in your face” style of presenting information packs a far greater “wallop” than even I have dared to try. Thank you for encouraging me and admonishing me through all these years. You left this earth in 2001. Do rest in peace, with the knowledge that you have contributed so much.
To my mother, Mary Jo Romberg, who left this world in 1999 after 88 years of life. Your immense intelligence, sensitivity towards people, and compassion for children gave me the foundation for my own career as a mother, researcher, writer, activist, and creative craftsperson.
To my father, Harland G. Romberg, who followed my mother into the next life in 2003 after 93 years of life. You may have never understood my work, but from you I’ve inherited the same feisty spirit and style of thinking and questioning.
To my youngest two children, Kevin and Melissa, born in 1985 and 1989, after this book was first written. Kevin, you were just an embryo inside of me when my garage was filled with copies of my book’s first edition. The first male in our family, after countless generations, to grow up with all parts of your body. To you it seems like no big deal. But your emphatic announcement at age seven, upon having circumcision explained to you, — “NO‼ That is NEVER going to happen to ME‼” — has been our most powerful statement yet. Wouldn’t every baby say the same, if only they too could speak?
Melissa, born at home, in our bathtub, — the simplest birth of all. At age 42, 6th baby, 3 prior miscarriages — others tried to tell me I didn’t have the right to the kind of birth I wanted. Little girl, priceless treasure, filled the hole left by other births gone wrong, other daughters gone from this world too soon. Today you are our “tomboy,” living in a world filled with softball games and puppy dogs. Womanhood intrudes too soon. May your life be filled with rewards. May the world allow you to be whatever you want to be.
Finally, to my granddaughter, Sonya Marie, born December 9, 2004. You’ve brought me into the newest phase of my life.
Rosemary Romberg
Dear Rosemary Romberg,
Yes, whatever is done to stop the terrible practice of circumcision will be of tremendous importance.
There is no rational, medical reason to support it. It is done just as a habit with no one being aware of why it is done.
And, much worse, no one being aware of the deep implications and life-lasting effect. Once we remember that all that takes place during the first days of life on the emotional level, shapes the pattern of all future reactions, we cannot but wonder why such a torture has been inflicted on the child. How could a being who has been aggressed in this way, while totally helpless, develop into a relaxed, loving, trusting person? Indeed, he will never be able to trust anyone in life, he will always be on the defensive, unable to open up to others and to life. *
There has been, recently, a large, international survey conducted by the World Health Organization regarding what takes place, in Africa, with young women at the stage of puberty. The public opinion was stunned and revolted finding out the tortures and mutilations (removal of clitoris and so on) inflicted.
The practice of circumcision is of exactly the same nature and level. And we call ourselves “rational and developed”!
At least these young women are conscious and they are told that it is a sort of test, an act of courage. Although, in fact, it is meant to make them submissive to men and insure that they will never challenge man’s power.
But there is no such consciousness in the newborn. The torture is experienced in a state of total helplessness which makes it even more frightening and unbearable. Yes, it is high time that such a barbaric practice comes to an end.
And the work you are doing is of immense value.
With best wishes,
(written signature of Leboyer to be added here)
Dr. Frederick Leboyer author of Birth Without Violence (ISBN 0892819839),
Alfred A. Knopf, New York, (©) 1976.
* I am not able to fully agree with such a fatalistic statement. However, I still believe that Dr. Leboyer’s concerns about the circumcision trauma are of great value and must be shared.
Rosemary Romberg
Foreword Ⅰ
After reading Rosemary Romberg’s carefully researched book, Circumcision: The Painful Dilemma, one wonders why there still exists such a diversity of opinion on the subject. Routine neonatal circumcision obviously is unnecessary and serves no sensible purpose. But in arriving at this seemingly logical conclusion, one is discounting the all-pervasive sexual opinions and emotions that reside in all of us.
Males in particular, because of their convex genital makeup, visually confront, and probably assess, their penises many times each day. Daily, the male awakens with an erection. The penis must be touched when washing, dressing, and directing the urinary stream. A man usually regards his penis as an extremely valued possession, and in its frequent perusal, cannot fail to associate with it emotions, reminiscences, and possible fantasies. These factors then enter into any evaluation of neonatal circumcision by physicians and laymen alike. To different people the act of circumcising carries varying weight and significance: to some it is a removal of a piece of skin of no relevance; to others, it represents a covenant with God, or a rite of passage; to still others, it is an irrational, cruel, desensitizing mutilation.
Coldly appraised, circumcision clearly is an operative procedure involving a subtraction: the sensitive foreskin is lost; the delicate glans is forever exposed to toughening abrasive trauma; the mobility of the loose penile skin sheath, a function that greatly facilitates sexual dalliance, is destroyed. Logically too, how does one legitimize a “routine” operation upon a normal structure? Normalcy in itself interdicts any interference. Consider also the paradox of absurdities associated with neonatal circumcision: the patient does not give his consent; no anæsthesia is used; there are no legitimate surgical indications for the procedure; the operation entails many risks and possible complications: death; psychic trauma; hemorrhage; infection; urethral damage; excessive skin removal, etc.
A poet-philosopher once wrote: “One sees what one knows.” This aptly applies to the prevailing sexual milieu in the United States today regarding the prepuce. Most American women have never seen a foreskin, least of all a foreskin on an erect adult penis. They have no concept of its function or merit. Most American physicians are circumcised males, and of necessity expound their views on the merits of circumcision from a base of incomplete penile sensitivity.
How does one find fault with the beauty and perfection of the normal infant’s body? What quirk in our psyche causes us to focus upon the male prepuce as a mistake of creation, to be removed by our flawed judgment, believing that now the penis is improved and more acceptable?
Rosemary Romberg’s book is exceedingly timely. Each year in the United States, 1.3 million male infants are circumcised. Since the 1940s, when hospital deliveries became commonplace and circumcision became almost routine, well over fifty million males have been subjected to this worthless operative procedure.
Ms. Romberg is a dedicated childbirth educator. She has been mesmerized by the beauty of the act of birth. The infant is to be brought into this life with gentleness, and accepted with love. But into Ms. Romberg’s rational humane perusal of birth, a most serious incongruous event has appeared, an act that has offended her sensibilities — circumcision of the male infant, an act that brings pain. In her humanity and concern, Ms. Romberg has set about studying why this painful procedure is inflicted upon male infants.
Rosemary Romberg has delved thoroughly and extensively into this subject of infant circumcision. She has moved from a position of neutrality to one of dogged condemnation of the procedure.
The author presents her material in a mildly judgmental way and arrives at an obvious conclusion: circumcision of infants is unnecessary. It is difficult to refute Ms. Romberg’s reasoned presentation. Any unbiased reader must agree with her.
This book should be read by all prospective parents, but especially by all physicians. Ms. Romberg’s advice and counsel would bring greater love and gentleness to all mothers and infants.
Clear heads, gentle hearts, and common sense eventually shall prevail. Rosemary Romberg’s scholarly treatise hopefully shall lead to the discontinuance of circumcision of newborn males.
THOMAS J. RITTER, M.D., F.A.C.S
Foreword Ⅱ
― “Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die.”
-
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Mankind — presumably the highest species inhabiting the earth — is generally thought to consist of a few leaders and many followers. In ages past, a premium was placed on conformity. Natural law declares survival for the fittest, and to challenge the establishment has traditionally suggested a dangerous lack of fitness that must be done away with before it can spread. Those who successfully struggled all the way to the top know best, they claimed, and through enforced ignorance the masses were kept rigidly in line to ensure survival of civilization as well as its ruling hierarchies. Then, in relatively an instant, a vast knowledge explosion began to occur as the age of science and reason dawned. The ensuing revolution in human thinking made leaders accountable for their actions and followers to fearlessly ask just where they were being led and for what reason. Today, we are in the midst of great experiments in the behavioral sciences, while before us lies a perilous but promising future.
In the present age, where humanity’s main concern is rightfully the prevention of a nuclear holocaust, this question of routine circumcision may seem to be a comparatively minor issue, one worthy of barely more than a casual mention — let alone being subject matter for an entire book. And yet, as a time-honored institution interacting directly with powerful sex drives, circumcision demands intense study because of what the various attitudes concerning it reveal about our inner selves. For in truth, ¿does not the indiscriminate lopping off of any normal body structure quite apart from whatever arbitrarily designated religious values it may represents and as an expression of utter contempt for nature? ¿Shouldn’t it be plain that for genuine satisfaction in life to be realized, man and nature must work harmoniously together — and in fact can do so at any level of technological development? What is to be ultimately gained by seeking escape from reality?
Symbolically speaking, circumcision is an issue that we can all relate to in some way. In my own case, I had experienced a difficult childhood. It seemed that everyone — parents, teachers and friends alike — had let me down, with nowhere to turn except toward my uncertain perception of God. In Sunday school I had been taught that the best way to discover the Almighty was by reading the Bible; so at the age of twelve I began at the beginning — with the Book of Genesis. Needless, to say, I didn’t get very far before encountering strange new words about which I was afraid to ask. But I knew how to use the dictionary, and shortly was able to figure out why all boys were not alike. And with scarcely more than a vestige of childlike innocence remaining, I somehow discovered within me the instinctive conviction that a truly loving, infinitely intelligent heavenly Father could never be so inconsistent as to create man one way and then want him another. Much later in life, I was to learn that the popular religious argument in favor of circumcision states that God did not make man exactly as he wanted him because it is man’s duty to perfect himself through the fulfillment of a divine command. Fortunately by this time I had outgrown my anthropomorphic concept of Deity and was therefore able to see the physical perfection of man in his unaltered form as an inspiration for the striving to manifest spiritual perfection through thinking and doing good instead of evil.
The American public, so overwhelmed by materialistic values and motives, is now in the process of being informed that routine circumcision is medically unnecessary and in some cases even harmful. The media is doing a cautious but good job of covering a subject which until recently it avoided like a plague. Two independent volumes published within the past five years have presented in a well documented and extremely convincing manner the facts about circumcision which this book serves to reinforce and expand upon. But if it takes a woman to view this most masculine topic in a thoroughly objective manner, then for this reason alone we should be grateful that Rosemary Romberg has written her treatise. The sincere reader will, however, have many more reasons to develop a profound sense of gratitude. In her capacity as an experienced mother, the author presents her subject as only one in that position can — for that wonderfully feminine quality known as mother love motivates an intimate concern for the feelings and security of the helpless newborn. And yet her viewpoint is broad enough to see the controversy for what it really is — essentially not a medical debate at all, but rather a question of whether or not individual freedom of choice should be preserved in an age where the acknowledgement of infants’ rights is increasingly regarded as a practical prerequisite to becoming a parent. Ms. Romberg is further blessed with sufficient modesty to realize that her book is by no means the last word on circumcision. Research into the operation’s hidden psychological consequences is just starting to gain a measure of priority, so that in this area her primary purpose is to provide a badly needed impetus for further scientific investigation.
At the beginning I wrote of leaders and followers. If we are going to use labels at all, then the number of categories must be made adequate. It appears now that another distinct variety of human being is emerging. Intent on neither leading nor following the mainstream, and demonstrably capable of conscientious self government, people of this exciting new breed ask simply for the privilege of being themselves without interference. It is primarily in recognition of such as these particularly those yet unborn — that this book has been written.
Jeffrey R. Wood
Wilbraham, Massachusetts
Founder of INTACT Educational Foundation
Introduction: The Author’s Own Story
I am an American middle class woman. I have a college degree and consider myself intelligent. I am a person who actively seeks to inform and educate myself about all matters that will concern my children and myself.
However, like many Americans, I grew up uninformed about one important matter. All my life I believed that penises were supposed to look a certain way with the rounded “head” exposed at the end. I assumed that all males were born with penises like that. I had no awareness that they should look any different or that anything had been cut off.
I had heard of the term “circumcision.” I knew that the Bible mentioned it and that it had something to do with the penis. I knew that people thought of circumcision as a good thing and that it somehow had something to do with cleanliness. I had no understanding of what circumcision involved or why it was done. People seldom discussed the subject. I rarely thought about it.
I am married to a Jewish man. We do not actively practice the Jewish faith. However, I knew that circumcision of infant males was important to Jewish people.
The following is my own personal account of the birth and circumcisions of my own three sons. It is a story of sincerity, seeking, pain and growth, which led to my decision to write this book:
It is 1972. Steve and I are excitedly expecting our first child. I want to do everything possible to make things right, perfect, and beautiful for this child that we already love so much. We attend Lamaze classes together. Steve will be by my side in the delivery room. I plan to give birth without medication. I also am looking forward to nursing my baby.
I discuss birth with a friend of mine. She has two little sons. Eagerly we share our ideas about birth and breastfeeding. Then she says, “Another thing that we decided was not to have our boys circumcised It seems to me that if that skin was not meant to be there, they would have been born without it.”
To me her idea seems strange. “Oh, that doesn’t appeal to me. Circumcision seems cleaner,” I reply. “Also, I’ve read that a newborn baby does not have a highly developed pain response and that circumcision doesn’t hurt them the way it would if it were done at a later age. Besides, Steve is Jewish and his family would object if we did not have our son circumcised.”
Later, at my obstetrician’s office the doctor asks me, “Now, do you want the baby circumcised?”
I giggle, “Yes, but only if it’s a boy.”
May 27, 1972, after hours of challenging, exhausting labor, I push our child into the world. I am on the delivery table, on my back, with my legs up in stirrups. Steve is by my side. I have had no medication and am fully conscious. In the mirror I watch the baby’s head emerge, and then the body. “That’s the baby‼ That’s the baby‼” Steve exclaims excitedly. Now the baby is down on a table in front of me. I can hear him crying but I cannot see. The doctor informs us, “You have a boy.”
“Honey, we have a little boy! I can’t believe it!”
Our son Eric is held up in front of us, wailing and screaming, and then handed to the nurse who carries him down the hall to the central nursery. We are unbelievably excited over the birth of our first child! I But now the three of us are sent our separate ways. Eric is in the nursery. I am taken to the recovery room. Steve must go home.
Before he leaves Steve talks to our doctor and then tells me: “He says you did a great job with natural childbirth! He’s going to circumcise the baby for us in the morning.”
It is now the 9 a.m. feeding. Finally I hold Eric for the first time, twelve hours after his birth. He does not nurse. His body is wrapped in blankets with only his head visible. Mothers are not allowed to unwrap their babies. Soon the nurse takes him away. Eric is brought to me again for feedings at 1 p.m. and at 5 p.m. but still he does not nurse. I am wondering if there is something wrong with me. I ask the doctor if we can go home the following day. Maybe once we are home I’ll be able to get him to nurse.
It is the 9 p.m. feeding. Eric is 24 hours old and finally nurses. I am beginning to feel like this baby is mine.
It is the afternoon of the second day. Eric and I are ready to go home. Steve has brought some diapers and baby clothes. A nurse changes and dresses Eric while we watch. This is the first time I get to see my baby’s body. The end of his little penis is bright red from his circumcision. Eric was circumcised some time the previous day, before he had ever even nursed. Possibly it was done before I had even held him. The nurse gives me a small tube of petroleum jelly and instructs me, “Put this on his circumcision each time you change his diaper until it heals. Also, apply alcohol to his umbilical stump until it dries up and falls off.”
Now Eric and I are home. I am still exhausted from the hours of agonizing labor. I am in great pain from my episiotomy. My uterus cramps with after — labor contractions. My nipples are sore and blistered from my first attempts to nurse. Soon my breasts become painfully engorged. That subsides and then I develop a breast infection. My entire body feels like a raw mass of blood and pain, as if I’ve been put through a meat grinder‼ But it will be okay if it means bringing a beautiful, healthy baby into the world to hold and love. Eric is a good sweet baby and is nursing well. His only problem is that he screams frantically during every diaper change. A friend suggests, “Maybe it’s because of his circumcision.” I agree, “Yeah, maybe so.”
Soon Eric and I both heal and become bonded to each other. Despite our poor start in the hospital and our painful postpartum adjustment, we are now a happy, loving mother-child couple.
Months later I show a friend the pictures we took of Eric in the delivery room. She comments, “That’s what they look like before they’re circumcised.”
I ask her, “You had your two boys circumcised, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but my sister’s two kids aren’t,” she replies. “Their father didn’t want to have it done. Their little penises look so funny!”
1974. I am pregnant with our second child. I have become a Lamaze instructor. I now know much more about pregnancy, birth and babies than I did the first time. This time we want to hold, love, and be with our baby from the beginning. We consider giving birth at home so that we will not be separated from our baby.
I find a hospital with a “family centered” maternity department. My doctor is supportive and enthusiastic about our desires. With this birth I will nurse the baby on the delivery table and have immediate rooming in.
October 31, 1974. Again I am pushing on the delivery table. Steve is by my side. This time the stirrups are lowered and my back is raised. We watch our child emerge into the world. “It’s another BOY‼” we all shout at once “Waah‼” Jason cries softly while the doctor suctions him and “milks” and clamps the cord. The baby is placed on my abdomen on top of the drapes while I gaze at him lovingly. Then he is wrapped up and given to me to nurse. It is beautiful to gaze into his eyes and get to know Jason. The doctor sews up my episiotomy. Soon the nurse takes Jason away to the nursery to weigh him and clean him up. I shower and eat lunch. Then the baby is brought to my room and we stay together from then on.
The following morning the doctor comes back to examine us and to circumcise Jason. He wheels the baby across the hall in his plastic bassinet. I feel anxious, expecting to hear a lot of screaming. In about 15 minutes the doctor brings Jason back. “He didn’t really cry about being circumcised. He fussed and spit up a little bit afterwards,” the doctor informs us. I feel relieved. We go on to talk about breastfeeding and other things. With rooming in I change the baby’s diapers. I know to apply petroleum jelly to his circumcision wound, as I had with Eric.
Shortly afterwards I walk down the hall. The nurse’s aide is cleaning some instruments and shows me the device that was used to circumcise the baby. It is a metal gadget that fits over him with a hole where the baby’s penis comes through and another part that comes down and clamps the foreskin. I find it interesting. I had imagined that the doctor trimmed off the foreskin freehand fashion. Then she says, “Maybe I shouldn’t show this to you. This could get a mother upset.”
“No, that’s okay.”
I give Jason’s circumcision no further concern. The baby and I stay together for the rest of the day and night and go home the following day. We go on to form a new, happy, mother-child nursing relationship.
1977. 1 am now pregnant with our third child. We are going to have this baby at home with a midwife. I have Dr. Leboyer’s book Birth Without Violence. We will use some of his ideas for this baby’s birth. Eric and Jason had both screamed frantically at birth, the way we had, at the time, expected all babies to behave. The lights had been bright, people had been noisy, and their cords had been cut right away. Leboyer presents some radically different ways to treat a newborn baby.
Our new baby will be welcomed into the world at home, into loving arms, peace, and contentment. We will use dim lighting in our birth room. We will speak softly to the child. We will massage and caress the infant. We will wait a while before cutting the cord. We will not use silver nitrate in the baby’s eyes. This child is very special, and his or her birth will be beautiful, pure, and perfect.
I am taking additional training in childbirth education, to teach home birth oriented classes. I am studying obstetric textbooks, attending seminars, and learning much more about pregnancy, birth, and babies.
One day an idea occurs to me. I tell Steve: “You know what I’ve been thinking? If this baby is a boy, I’d like to not have him circumcised.”
“Oh, no.” He replies, “They can get terrible infections if they’re not circumcised.”
“Well, I suppose with your being Jewish, you wouldn’t want a son not to be circumcised.”
“No, being Jewish isn’t the reason. I just think it’s necessary for their health.”
“It just seems with all of the other neat things that we are going to be doing for this baby’s birth, not circumcising would be another ‘natural’ thing to do.”
My mind is full of questions. I have seen other baby boys who were not circumcised. The longer, straight penis has a “strange” appearance to my American middle class eyes. I do not know whether it is better for a baby to be that way or to be circumcised. But I guess our third son would not like being different from his two brothers or his Daddy. Being neither male, nor Jewish, maybe it is not my place to suggest not circumcising.
Early in the morning, April 25, 1977, our third child silently emerges into the world on the bed in our dimly lit room. Steve and our midwife catch the baby together. “It’s a boy.” our midwife says softly. Ryan’s little body is placed on my tummy and I massage and caress him. He coughs, sputters, and starts to breathe quietly. His body is relaxed and there is no crying. The skin-to-skin contact is a warm, beautiful experience that I never had with my other two babies. Eric and Jason are standing by the bed, awestruck by the birth of their tiny new brother. After about ten minutes the cord stops pulsating and we cut it. I put Ryan to the breast. He nuzzles but does not nurse. Steve takes off his shirt and snuggles Ryan against his bare chest. I work at expelling the placenta. Ryan is again placed in my arms and now begins nursing. In the dim light his little eyes open and he looks at me.
In a little while the midwife examines Ryan’s perfect little body. “Are you going to have him circumcised?” she asks. She tends to favor it. Her own son is circumcised. “Yes.” I reply absently. I am not thinking about it right now.
It’s about 4:30 a.m. The midwife and my other friend leave. Steve sleeps on the couch. The kids go back to their beds. Ryan and I are alone in the birth room together. He is so tiny, 7 lbs. 3 oz., the littlest of my three babies. He has a perfect little round head and is fair and blond. His face is tiny and sweet and bespeaks a calmness brought about by his most peaceful birth. It’s hard to believe that anything so little and fragile could be real.
In the days that follow, Ryan sleeps and nurses peacefully and never leaves my side. I had always thought that newborn babies were squalling little bundles of appetite and nerves that did not become cute or enjoyable until they were about two to three months old. But this little baby evokes an ethereal tranquility that I have never seen before. He drifts between sleep and wakefulness and makes little smiles just like the pictures in Dr. Leboyer’s book — totally happy and trusting of this world.
“Why is Ryan’s penis different from mine?” asks Eric who is almost five.
“Ryan hasn’t been circumcised yet,” I explain.
“What is ‘circumcised’?”
I explain to Eric that baby boys are born with this skin on the end of their penises but most parents have it cut off. “We will take Ryan to a doctor and have him cut the skin off of the end of his penis.”
“Why?”
“Oh, it’s supposed to be easier to keep clean.”
Ryan’s appointment with the pediatrician is on Monday morning. He will be eight days old. The doctor wants us to take the baby to the hospital for a vitamin K shot and PKU test first. We stop by his office to get a prescription for this. I sit in the car and feel like crying. I had my baby at home so I could avoid all of these traumatizing medical procedures. I made so many plans to have his birth be beautiful and perfect. Right now I feel helpless. “Please, can’t we just not have any of this stuff done!”
Monday morning arrives. My mother comes over to watch the older boys. “Too bad he has to be hurt,” she says sympathetically, as I leave the house with little Ryan. I sigh, resignedly, and say to him, “But we have to make you match your Daddy and your brothers.”
Steve meets me at the doctor’s office. We go into an examining room. Ryan is sleeping peacefully and trustingly in my arms. My stomach feels like a lump of lead. Nothing has ever felt so wrong! Silently I communicate to him, “I would rather die than let anything hurt your precious little being. And yet this has to be.”
The nurse tells me to undress the baby. I say to the doctor, “They showed me the clamp device that they use when our last baby was born in the hospital. Is that what you use?”
“Yeah,” he mumbles. He acts as if that is something that parents should not know about. Then suddenly he ushers Steve and me out of the room. I had assumed that I would stay with him‼ He tells us to leave the building and suggests a nearby hamburger stand where we could go and eat. This baby has never been separated from me from the moment he was born‼ How could you expect me to eat at a time like this?
“We use a topical anæsthesia on the baby’s skin, but it will be painful,” he says honestly.
We leave the building and sit on a bench. ¡My baby is inside there! ¡I have no idea what is going on! My maternal, protective instincts are totally violated! It is as if we were helpless children. Steve reminds me of the joke about a “Jim Dandy” being a guy who was circumcised with a pinking shears. Finally enough time has passed that I say, “Let’s go back in.”
The baby’s screams fill the entire building! The nurse leads us back into the room. Ryan is lying on the table. A diaper is half around him. The end of his penis is bright red‼ There is blood on the diaper‼ He is crying pitifully, a high-pitched wail that I have never heard out of him before. I pick him up and embrace his tiny body close to mine. “Oh, no! Don’t hold him like that!” the doctor warns me. I shouldn’t put pressure on his wound. So I cradle him in my arms as the doctor leads us into another room. As soon as we sit down I start to nurse Ryan.
“Right now you are doing the very best thing you can for him,” the doctor assures me. “Sucking will really help ease the pain.”
He gives us advice about various aspects of baby care. Between attempts to nurse Ryan continues to wail frantically! I hear very little of what the doctor says.
Steve leaves and I sit in the waiting room, continuing my attempts to nurse and comfort Ryan. Vaguely his tense, anguished little body reminds me of the way Eric and Jason had been as newborns. A nurse comes by and says, “Hey, it will be all right.”
“I know, this is my third baby.”
“You just look so upset.”
I take Ryan out to the car. He no longer wants to nurse. Mercifully he drifts off to sleep and I drive home. I feel like I am taking home a different baby. He wails in pain again as I carry him back into the house. My mother adds her sympathy to his traumatized condition. I place him on his side in his buggy where he falls asleep again. About three hours later he awakens with another painful wail. I change his diaper and put petroleum jelly on his circumcision. He nurses again and from then on no longer cries about it.
That evening we go out to the “class reunion” of my midwife’s childbirth classes. Ryan seems content and peaceful again. I keep him in my arms most of the evening. “I’ll never let anything hurt you like that again, I promise.”
Weeks later, Ryan was to start cooing and smiling like all normal, healthy babies. But I was never to see those beautiful, mystic, Leboyer newborn-baby smiles again. Ryan was past his pain, But my own heart was to ache about this for a long time. Again and again I was to ask myself, “Why?”
Why did I have the courage and resolve to go outside the medical system and have a home birth, but was unable to question this?
Why was it so important to me to have his birth be totally peaceful in so many ways, with dim lights, soft voices, and no silver nitrate, and then turn around and do this?
Why, when I had been a childbirth educator for several years, when I have gone out of my way to educate and inform myself about so many things concerning birth and babies, when I am probably more knowledgeable about most of these matters than 99% of all parents, did I still know virtually nothing about circumcision?
Five months after this experience I awakened out of my feelings of torment, guilt, and horror, to my decision to write this book. It is my profession, as a childbirth educator, to educate expectant parents about all matters that concern their babies. Why aren’t people being educated about circumcision?
I did not know where to begin. The many books in my personal childbirth education library said little or nothing about the subject. A visit to my local library yielded little more. Even books on surgery gave only a sentence or two to circumcision. I approached many of my friends about their experiences with the operation, and conducted many of the interviews that appear in this book.
However, despite Ryan’s heartrending experience, I did not start my research being anti-circumcision. I was even undecided over whether or not I would choose circumcision again should I ever have another son. I fully intended to write a book that was NEUTRAL on the subject. I had planned that this book would present the pros and cons of both choices, guiding parents to either direction as best suited their lifestyles.
I began this research with the American middle class belief that male circumcision surely conferred many benefits. Therefore I did not skew the results of my research nor the personal accounts herein to conform to a pre-conceived anti-circumcision bias. Instead, it has been the personal accounts and facts that have educated me.
The personal accounts in this book tell many stories. Some are from parents of circumcised sons, all expressing remorse over their decision. Some are from parents of intact sons, all expressing peace and satisfaction with their choice. I have not received any letters from parents of circumcised sons who were happy about their decision, nor any letters from parents of intact sons who were unhappy about it.
These personal accounts, along with the facts I have uncovered, have led me to a strong stand against routine infant circumcision. If the facts supported cutting off the foreskins of infant males as a beneficial, justifiable operation, I would have presented that in this book. Instead, I have learned that none of the medical arguments for circumcision are justified, and while I believe that people’s religious beliefs require a certain degree of careful consideration and sensitivity, I have found that the other so-called “social” reasons have little solid basis.
Three significant concerns surround the issue of infant circumcision:
Firstly, the operation is painful to the newborn infant. Feelings of tenderness and protection surround most of our attitudes about tiny babies. Why then have we considered it okay to strap the baby down and proceed to pinch and smash his foreskin, tear it away from his glans, and then clamp and cut it off? Usually this is done without anæsthesia. Circumcision was often deliberately intended to be a means of torture of slaves and in primitive initiation rites. Today, if an older child or adult is to undergo circumcision, anæsthesia is used. Why do we believe that infants either feel no pain or that their feelings are unimportant?
Secondly, is the foreskin a useless piece of tissue — an “anomaly” in need of surgical correction? Is the human male body made wrong the way it normally comes into the world? Or does the foreskin serve a purpose? Can we improve on the body by cutting part of it off?
Thirdly, do we have the right, in the absence of true medical need, to alter another person’s body without his permission? Does a person have the right to keep all parts of his body? Isn’t each person’s foreskin rightfully his? If so, aren’t parents who consent to circumcision and doctors who perform the operation taking something away from that child?
These concerns and many more will be examined in the following chapters.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to: All of the baby boys who have yet to be born into this world … with the sincere hope that the beginnings of your lives may be peaceful and joyous, and that you may live in this world whole and complete as you were intended to be.
